The 'Tubby Code
A Classification System for Teletubby Fans

Created on: Oct 27, 1999 [v 0.2]
   Version: 0.2beta
    Author: MrPinga <mr-pinga@cyberweb.org>

Introduction

You think all those 'tubby-'lubbers are the same? Well, think again. Or, to save yourself this painful process, just subscribe to a 'tubby mailing list and post a message along the lines of: "Hey people! I'm 'Tubby-nobrain and I think Dipsy is a god, Laa-laa sucks, Ragdoll should take the videos out of the show, Hamish is the best visualization ever, and I want to know how old everyone is!" You'll be surprised how many different responses you will get.

Frequent friendly "flame wars" are valid proof that 'tubby-'lubbers are different from one another. And, results of the ubiquitous "Who/What is your favorite ..." polls confirm it. These polls get a little annoying after a while, so, to help people out a little, I have created a thing called the "'Tubby Code." It was originally inspired by (and uses lots of customized portions of) the "Moonie Code" (Go the sailor moon!), which was based on the "Geek Code."

I will be attempting to make an encoder/decoder at some stage in an attempt to flex my programming muscles -- they're feeling a little under-used at the moment. :-)

Hey, it sounds cool! But how does it work?

The 'Tubby Code consists of a few sections. Each section starts with a capital letter and is used to describe a part of your amazing and unique personality. You'll learn more about the sections (as well as about the qualifiers, and the modifiers of the qualifiers ...) used in them later. For now, please remember you must pay special attention to case-sensitivity.


How to Create Your Own 'Tubby Code


Identifying the Code Version

Because there are many codes on the 'Net, the first thing to do is to tell people which code you're using. Begin your code by writing something like:

Tubby Code(0.2beta)

The numbers enclosed in parentheses indicate the version of the code. They aren't really necessary, but you might want to impress those poor people who don't know what a 'Tubby Code is.

Creating a Code

Undoubtedly, the most important trait of the 'tubby-'lubber is her/his devotion to the show. To tell the other 'tubby-'lubbers how much you love the 'tubbies, write:

TT:

Then, add a qualifier (choose the one that matches you most closely):

  1. Use a 0 (zero) if you watched Teletubbies once, when your remote control was broken.

  2. You watch Teletubbies only because you have to watch your children.

  3. You think it's just another TV show.

  4. You try to fool yourself into thinking that it's just another TV show for you. But, it's rather hard considering you get up early everyday to watch it, and you get really depressed when you miss an episode.

  5. You think it's a pretty cool TV show. In fact, you'd found it so interesting you searched the WWW for Teletubby-related pages and subscribed to a Teletubby mailing list to find out more about it. You know about the Dave Thompson drama and you know answers to some of the Frequently Asked Questions.

  6. You think it's a damn fine TV show -- one of the only things good on television any more. You've subscribed to one or more Teletubby mailing lists, and you occasionally post there. You have your own Teletubby related WWW page. You've bought some Teletubby merchandise. You considered dressing like one of the Teletubby characters on Halloween.

  7. You actually did dress like one of the Teletubby characters during the last Halloween. Teletubbies are the only thing you watch on TV. You've taped all the episodes, and purchased some videos to see more of your favorite show. You're a regular poster to a Teletubby mailing list. You have Teletubby related dreams. Your friends refer to you as "that Teletubby freak."

  8. You have no friends anymore, except for the ones you turned into 'tubby-'lubbers like you. You have dreams about your favorite Teletubby character. Your room is filled with Teletubby merchandise. You insist your partner use 'tubby-speak to converse with you.

  9. Your room is so full of the Teletubby merchandise you had to move to the basement. You have all the kid clips memorized. Your pregnant wife/mother/SO goes into labor or you partner is lying in a pool of blood dying and you stay home to watch new Teletubby episodes you've just gotten from your friend.

  10. You go into labor and you decide to stay home, because you want to once again watch your favorite episode. Teletubbies is your religion. You can quote entire original episodes verbatim. You go to work/school dressed like your favorite Teletubby character. You have done every single thing listed on the You Know you're a 'tubby-nut when..." list and some things not listed -- including calling out the name of your favorite 'tubby while having an intimate moment your better half.

    Use an ! (exclamation point) if you actually believe you are Tinky-winky, Dipsy, Laa-laa or Po. You're the alter-ego of one of the 'tubbies, you're the second reincarnation, you're them in a nutshel, you find you talk like one of the tubs, act like them, feel like them, think like them, dance like them, eat like them, sleep like them, you're their twin, their clone, you are them damnit!!

If you feel you fit somewhere between two of the above, choose the one that fits you most and add a "+" or a "-" depending if you're devotion to the show is higher or lower than the catagory-number you specified, respectively.

Additionally, if you do things listed in two or more very different categories, write the one that most closely matches you, then the highest of the other categories, enclosed in square brackets.

If applicable, add one of the following:

t-
If someone calls you a 'tubby-'lubber, you go ballistic. Either because you don't like this term, you hate being filed like that, or for whatever other reason.

t+
You deliberately call yourself a 'tubby-'lubber.

Example: The category that matches with me most closely is "5," but I have also taped episodes (all these belong to the category 6). I couldn't care less if someone calls me 'tubby-'lubber. Hence my code here would be: TT:5+

Example: Someone who watches Teletubbies only because they have to watch their children, has dreams about the Noo-Noo, visits Teletubby websites, but hates to be called a 'tubby-'lubber would be: TT:1[7]t-

Tell the World About Your Favorites

Everyone has their favorites, and 'tubby-'lubbers are no exception (well, some of them are, but that's not the point. ;-) ). Anyway, it's time to tell all those pollsters who your favorite characters are and how much you love them (I mean the characters here of course, not the pollsters. ;-) ). This is a separate section of the 'Tubby Code, so add a space after your Tubby rating, then write:

F:

We'll start with the 'tubbies (if you don't have your favorite 'tubby, just skip this section). Write a "t" and choose up to two of the following:

Tw
Tinky-winky

Di
Dipsy

La
Laa-laa

Po
Po

No
Noo Noo

Bs
Baby Sun

Now, to the identifier of each one you choose add the qualifier:

(use a space)
You like this 'tubby just a bit more than the others. You don't even know why, but when someone mentions the 'tubbies, this is the character that first comes to your mind.

+
You like this 'tubby and enjoy a discussion about them. You have some pictures of them and visit their WWW shrines once in a while.

++
You really like this 'tubby. When watching Teletubbies, you pay special attention to their actions. You join every discussion about them. The harddisk of you computer is full of pictures and animations featuring them. You created your own WWW shrine devoted to them.

+++
This 'tubby is the only reason you watch Teletubbies. You worship the ground they walk on. You room is filled with their posters, pictures of them are about the only thing left on the hard drive of your computer. Their name is every second word you say or type. Everyone who doesn't agree with you is your enemy and you'll convert them to your belief, no matter if they want it or not. :-)

As the prefix to the qualifier, add:

<
If you find this 'tubby less interesting than you did, let's say, half a year ago.

(use a space)
If your opinion about this 'tubby has been stable for a long time, and you doubt it'll change in the nearest future.

>
If you feel your obsession with this 'tubby is increasing.

Like in the previous section, if you fit one category, but also do some things described in the different, higher category, do the following: write your category, then add the necessary number of "+"s that, added to your existing category, will form the symbol of the other, higher category you fit as well. Enclose the additional "+"s in square brackets. (Confusing? Well, that's only the beginning. (evil laughter) Don't worry, just take a look at examples below.)

Example: I like Dipsy, but, for some reasons (which aren't really your business -- and, if they were your business, then you know them already -- so, nyah! ;-) ) my feelings towards him have changed from "++" to "+." I also like Laa-laa a bit more than the other 'tubs, but I have no idea why. It can be something with the way she stands all pigeon toed and attempts to repeat everything ... Anyway, my code for this section would be: tDi<La

Example: Someone who's stable in their liking for Tinky-winky and generally fits category "++," but also tries to convert every other 'tubby-'lubber to their belief (that's category "+++") would be: tTw++[+]

Example: Someone whose feelings toward Po fits category "+++" and whose obsession keeps increasing, would be: tPo>+++

Some people not only like the 'tubbies, but the kids and adults from the short video clips. If you're one of them, add an extra part to your 'favorites' section (if you have your favorite 'tubby as well, separate these two parts with a ":"). Write "e," then describe your feelings towards Teletubby extras in the same way you did for the 'tubbies. Again, choose up to two of the following:

(I need some help here. I know people like this, folks, so i need to know their names :-) . I wouldn't have a clue -- I always fast forward the video clips or go and get some food/drink when they come on :-) )

Al
Alex Pascall sings a song about babies and a song about 'Handy Hands."
Am
Amy makes some pasta at home.
An
Annie and her dad land yacht on the beach.
Be
Brennan pretends to fly to the moon.
Ca
Carla (and Simone) make colorful costumes for the carnival.
De
Delilah packs her bag with her sister.
Em
Emily rides a cart pulled by her horse (Jester).
Je
Jester the horse pulls a cart (with Emily in it).
Ma
Maribel teaches flamenco dancing.
No
Norris teaches some children how to play drums.
Si
Simone (and Carla) make colorful costumes for the carnival.
Ti
Tito the flamenco guitar player.
Yv
Yvette washes her plastic cups and saucers.

Now Tell Us Who You Dislike

Some people think Tinky-winky is a big clumsy dork. Some people think Laa-laa is a big prima donna. Some people can't stand Dipsy's Hat. Some people ... okay, you got the idea. If there are Teletubby characters you dislike, list them in the new section -- the 'Dislikes' section (duh. ;-) ). Separate this section from the previous one with a space, then write:

D:

Now construct this section exactly like you did construct your 'Favorites' one. The only difference are the qualifiers:

(use a space)
There is something in this character you don't like. Color, tone of voice, laugh -- whatever. You just don't like it.

-
Ugh. This character really gets on your nerves. You have no idea how somebody can like them, since it's so easy to see how big a dork this character is. You show your dislike by joining threads in which people bash this character and occasional snide remarks.

--
You hate this character. You start bashing threads, visit those WWW "anti-character shrines."

---
You really, really, really hate this character. Really. You do. If this character got murdered one day, you'd be the first person police would ask about their alibi. You think the show would be much more interesting without that blasted character. You create WWW anti-character shrines and join religious crusades against this character.

The prefix added to the qualifier means:

<
Your hostility towards this character lessens.

(use a space)
You don't like this character and you like it the way it is now.

>
This particular character peeves you more and more every day.

Experience

Are you a clueless 'tubby-'lubber, or are you one of those "been there, seen that, danced hard" pros? Have you already forgotten where you put your Teletubby videos, or do you bring your family to tears by watching "Dancing with the Teletubbies" ten times a day?

I realize such category may lead to abuse, putting people down and whatnot. But, on the other hand, it is quite good indicator of person's familiarity with the Teletubby universe. And, it lets you decide quickly, who to bug about the episodes you haven't seen. :-P

The description of your experience is a separate section of the 'Tubby Code. So, add a space after previous section(s) and write:

X:

First, let others know how long you've been experiencing the wonder that is the Teletubbies. ;-) In order to do this, for every full year you've lived as a Teletubby fan, write an '*.' Of course, this part of code can be fine-tuned by making use of the square brackets.

Example: Someone who first saw Teletubies, less than a year ago, would be: [*]

Example: Someone who's been a Teletubby fan for three years would be: ***

Now, it's time to list how many episodes you've watched, and how often you get back to them. Conclude the previous subsection with the ':' and read on.

(use a space)
You've seen the episodes once, maybe twice. The video tapes of the episodes do great job supporting that shelf in the basement.

+
You watch the episodes every month or so, usually when your friends drop by and you have nothing better to do.

++
You can't stand a week without watching at least one of those episodes.

+++
24 hours without Teletubbies, and you turn into a quivering little heap, muttering over and over again, "neeed ... my ... fix ... **@.@**."

++++
"Uhmm, what? Look, I can't talk with you know, the windmill is winding up ..."

Like in the previous sections, you can use square brackets to fine-tune your answer.

Opinions

There are several things 'tubby-'lubbers constantly argue about. Thus it's important for a 'tubby-'lubber to state their opinions on those subjects in their 'Tubbie Code. Before you tell the world your opinions, write a space after the last section of your code, followed by:

O:

As usual, if you have no opinion on a particular subject, or don't want people to know it, just skip it. To fine-tune your answer, you can use square brackets in the same way you did in the 'favorites' and 'dislikes' sections. Separate your opinions on different subjects with ':'s.

The Visualizations:

Some people like them, some people think they're just really bad computer animations. To express what you think about the visualizations, write "v" then one of the following:

--
The visualizations are just crap. Anyone who likes the visualizations is a complete moron and doesn't have right to call themselves a 'tubby-'lubber.

-
The visualizations could be better, lots better. In fact, you don't really like them at all.

(use a space)
Ahhhh, who cares? -- it's 'tubbies and you love 'tubbies.

+
Visualization are ok. But, the animation could have been better.

++
The visualizations rule! It's one of the best parts of the show.

?
A special category -- you don't know what to think about the visualizations.

Example: Someone who likes the visualizations, would be: v+.

Example: A typical, visualization-bashing 'tubby purist would be: v--.

Example: Someone who doesn't care about the visualizations would be: v.

Example: Someone who can't make up their mind about the visualization would be: v?

Attitude Towards Teletubby Haters/Anti-'Tubby-'Lubbers

Incredible as it sounds, some people don't love the Teletubbies. Worse even, some of them loathe the show. Some spend their precious time on creating web pages expressing their disgust and insulting everyone who doesn't agree with them. Some 'tubby-'lubbers take things like this very personally, flaming back; others just shrug and move on. What is your reaction to the Teletubby haters?

Write "a," then one of the following:

--
You hate anti-'tubbies. How dare those individuals not enjoy the great show that Teletubbies is, is beyond you. How can one insult such great show, is even more mind-boggling, and it makes you very mad!

-
You dislike anti-'tubbies, but have enough brain cells to not get all worked up over their activities because this is exactly what they want to achieve.

(use a space)
You think everyone is entitled to their opinion, and couldn't care less about anti-'tubbies. Their flames land in your trashcan the very moment they reach your inbox, and their web pages never make it to your bookmarks collection.

+
Not only do you think everyone is entitled to their opinion, but to make your situation worse (at least, in the eyes of more fanatic 'tubby-'lubbers) you're ready to admit Teletubbies does have its flaws. And, sometimes you even get a laugh from the anti-'tubbies web pages. (sacrilege! ;-P ) Sure, it's mostly because of the stupidity of their owners. But, sometimes you happen to agree with them.

++
You're a closet anti-'tubbies supporter. (Well, not such a closet one anymore, since you just admitted to that in your 'Tubby Code. ;-P )

+++
Oh, boy. You are active anti-'tubby -- and, pretty suicidal at that if you're going to walk amongst passionate 'tubbies with your code clearly stating so. :-)

?
You don't have opinion on the anti-'tubbies.

Personal Information

Let's face it, all of those "codes" are nothing more than just an excuse to post a personal ad at the end of your .sig, right? So, now it's time for the section that most people pay attention to -- the personal information. As in the previous sections, you can skip the parts you want to keep in secret, and you can use square brackets to fine-tune your answer.

Put a space after the last section, then write:

P:

Age:

"I wanna know how old everyone here is!" A canonical question you can find in every second poll. So, how old are you? Please, don't lie. You can give an exact answer, you can give a vague answer (see below) but don't say you're 30 when you're 15. It's for your own benefit -- people can understand if you post something stupid and you're 15. But, if you post the same stupid thing and you claim to be 30, they'll rather think there's something wrong with your brain.

Anyway, to state how old you are, write "a" followed by your age in years (human ones -- dog years don't count ;-) ). Because some of us don't like to talk about their age (and, by a pure coincidence, most of those people are women ;-) ) you can use alternative method to state your age:

Write "a," then choose one which fits you:

---
Fresh from the womb.

--
You're a very young 'tubby-'lubber somewhere between 6 and 10.

-
Early teens -- like 10 to 13.

(use a space)
Somewhere between 14 and 16.

+
Late teens -- 16 to 18.

++
You're one of those college students who get giggled at for watching a childrens show. Somewhere between 19 and 23.

+++
You're getting old. Between 24 and 30.

++++
Being over 30, I can understand you reluctance to reveal your exact age.

Gender

Is it really so hard to tell one's gender? Unfortunately, yes. Especially when people use cryptic nicknames. :-) Write a ":" after the last section of the code and specify your gender by writing one of the following:

x
You are a female.

y
You are a male.

z
You don't want to disclose your gender.

The End

That's all! If everything went well, you'd now be a proud owner of your personal 'Tubby Code. (though it's hard to believe anyone would be patient enough to read through this whole text. ;-) ) Anyway, I hope you had at least half of the fun I had writing this. And, if you have any suggestions how to improve the Tubby Code, make sure to write me at:

mr-pinga@cyberweb.org


MrPinga
Tubby Code(v0.2beta) TT:5+ F:tDi<La D:Bs X:**:++ O:v-:a- P:a++:y


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