Jim Maijala's Phunk Phiction -- Mel's Fear

From: Funkola
Date: Tue, 06 Jan 1998 23:04:07 -0500
Subject: Re: Mel's fear

>know instead of Mark, Don, and Mel huddled around an open fire
>during winter all of them are on the lear jet .... I will need
>help finishing the episode of Mark Don, and Mel experiencing air
>turbulance.
>Keep on Funkin!!
>George

Okay, you twisted my arm.

________________________

Don:

Hey guys, what's that thumping noise?

Mark:

Must be Mel trying out his new amps in the cargo bay.

Kootch:

Can't be. I just saw him up front filing your guitar strings.

Mark:

So that's why those suckers keep breaking during 'The Locomotion!'

Don:

Yea! And you thought it was because you were really jammin'!

Mark:

That's right, keep talking and I'll cut the rest of your drum solo out of 'Caught in the Act's' TNUC!

Kootch:

Chill out dudes! We need to find out what that thumping noise is.

Don:

Lets find out what TNUC means.

Kootch:

C'mon guys, focus. We may have a situation here.

Don:

Hey shorty! If YOU don't chill out I'm gonna levy your phucking head!!

Mark:

Let's get the expert on thumping noises in here and ask him. YO MEL!!! Come here a minute Bro.

___________________
Okay Mr. Fo-net-ick ... Take your best shot and finish it from here!

From: jmaijala@juno.com
Date: Wed, 7 Jan 1998 08:25:22 -0500
Subject: Re: Mel's fear

OKAY PHUNKOLA HERE GOES ...

... Mel exists the on board bathroom ...

Mel:

What do you guys want? Can't you tell I'm busy ... by the way, have any of you seen my copy of "Sparticus?"

Kooch:

Not now Mel, can't you here that thumping noise?

Don:

It sounds like is coming from the front of the plane ...

Mark:

Mel, I believe that is the longest string of words I've ever heard you put together ...

(Just then a high pitched voice that the boys recognize as the pilot comes over the intercom.)

Pilot:

This is your pilot, MR. BILL. We are experiencing a temporary in flight problem. It's nothing to be concerned ab ... oh no ... it's flight attendant SLUGGO!!! OOOOHHHHHHHH!!!

Don:

Come on dudes, let's get it on!!!! We've got to help Mr. Bill.

Mark:

(Jumps out of his seat and moves toward the cockpit.) Let's get this plane on the move!!!

Kooch:

You guy's use of lyrics in a totally inappropriate situtuation is mostly obtuse.

Mark:

(He stops in his tracks, turns and looks at Kooch.) Huh??

Mel:

Anybody seen my parachute, and ... look ... there's a man on the wing!!!!

Don:

You guys are retarded. I'm going to help Mr. Bill with or without you. (He begins running up the aisle, but he trips over an item and sprawls onto the floor.) Ouch! what the hell did I trip over? MEL!!! Here's your copy of "Sparticus!"

Mel:

Aaahhhhh! Nirvana (He grabs the copy of Sparticus and heads for the bathroom, again.)

Kooch:

What about Mr. Bill?

Mark:

(He runs to the cockpit door, and with a mighty thrust, he kicks the door in.) Alright Sluggo, come on out of there ... come on, we don't have all day ... Sluggo! ... Sluggo?! ... hmmm, doesn't seem to be anyone here. (He steps into the cockpit ...) OH! It's horrible!!!

Don:

Lemme see, Lemme see!!!

Kooch:

Stand aside please ... Look! Mr. Bill has been dismembered. His clay head is over there, and his legs are stuck to the ceiling and ... where is Sluggo?

Mark:

I don't know ... who do you think I am, Bill Parrette?, Jeff Cochran?, Jim Maijala?

Don:

Who's Jim Maijala?

Kooch:

Yeah, who's Jim Maijala?

Mark:

I can't believe you don't know who he is. Didn't you ever hear of the pet rock? (They all nod their heads.) Well, that's what I named my pet rock.

Don:

Let's get Mel and land this plane, if we can.

They all head back to the main cabin and start banging on the door to the bathroom.

Kooch:

Mel ... Mel ... are you in there?

Mel:

(muffled) Leave me alone, I'm busy!!

Mark:

Mel, you don't understand, we've got no pilot and we've got to land the plane ourselves!!

Mel bursts from the bathroom, sending Don and Kooch falling to the floor.

Mel:

(Somehow, he has procurred a parachute and is wearing it.) I'm outta here!!!!! (Mel runs to emergency and pulls the cord!!!!)

Don:

No Mel!! You'll start a massive decompression!!

Mel:

I never liked the way you never let me sing, and Mark, I think your pet rock named Jim Maijala is really stupid!! (The emergency door slides open ...)

Mark:

I'll kill you for that, Mel!!! (He sprints and dives onto Mel, both of them falling out the door ...THUD!!)

Kooch:

Good going guys, the plane hadn't even taken off yet. I bet you really feel dumb now.

Don:

Look, there's the tumping noise, the baggage dudes are still loading the luggage.

(Mark and Mel are locked in a struggle on the ground, Mark has Mel in a headlock and is giving Mel a Dutch Rub.)

Mark:

Take it back Mel, take it back!!!

Mel:

OOOWWWW!!, Okay, Okay I take it back, Your pet rock named, Jim Maijala, is not stupid.

(Mark let's Mel go and they both get up.)

Mel:

Say, what is this ring with the string attached to it for ... (He pulls the cord on his parachute, and it covers Kooch, Don and Mark/)

Don:

Nice move, EXLAX!!

Kooch:

Mark, will you please get your hand out of my pocket ... Mark ... Mark

Mark:

It's not me, I'm over here.

Kooch:

A little to the left please ...

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